Thursday, 9 May 2013

An Old Fart Listens To "Just Give Me A Reason"

Hi! My name is J (just one letter because my parents were convinced that the birth certificate people charged by the letter and they are frugal), and this is my very first post for All The Write Notes. So, who are you?

Good. Cool. Nice to meet you. How’s your mom and them?

Excellent.

Now that we’ve got the introductions out of the way, I guess I should tell you a little bit about me and music. I play the saxophone, piano, and, being from Mississippi, washboard. In fact, I’ve played music for too many years that I don’t want to count because dammit I’m old.

I don’t really listen to “modern” music--more of a polka fan myself. But this blog? Way too hip for Lawrence Welk appreciation. So, I thought and I thought and I thought what I could bring to this blog. And here is what I decided.

I’m going to look at the Billboard Top 100, take a song, and tell you what it’s all about in a segment I like to call “An Old Fart Listens to What You Youngsters Are All Jiving To And Explains It All”.

First--let’s look at the list. Hmmmmm. Something named Macklemore on here. Pretty sure that’s one of those “boutique” shops my wife buys a handbag for half a grand. Taylor Swift? If I get in touch with the feelings of a teenage girl, pretty sure that means jail time. Darius Rucker? Holy crap-on-a-stick-pickle, Hootie lost the Blowfish.

Ah--number one. Good place to start. This week’s number one is “Just Give Me A Reason” by Pink who once spelled her name P!nk and the lead singer of fun. which means this song must be all about unusual uses of punctuation. The other singers name is Nate Ruess. (Surprising tidbit--Nate was one doctorate away from having to listen to people say “Would you carry on in a box? Would you, could you, carry on with a fox?”)

So, here’s the song…

 

 At first, our heroine Pink sings about the loss of love.

“I let you see the parts of me that weren’t all that pretty”. Going to go out on a limb here and say that she had an open door bathroom policy. Then we get into the heavy stuff.

“You’ve been talking in your sleep…Uh oh…Things you never say to me…Uh oh” This, I believe is unfair to the young man. I mean, what if he had been dreaming about being chased by a giant egg roll? “Get AWAY, you ginormous mass of fried cabbage!” Pretty sure he’d never said that to her before.

Now, Dr Ruess comes in singing what NO GUY SHOULD EVER SAY. “Sorry I don’t understand where all this is coming from…” Really, Nate? Listen to someone who’s been married a few years--you might as well sung “I also think you’ve put on some weight and your mother is a hag…”

He then sings about it all being in her mind because he never wants to make whoopee again. Welcome to ‘Not tonight honey’-ville. Population Nate Dog.

Also, lost in all this is that something is written in the scars of their hearts which must mean they share a cardiologist. And he’s not acting very professional.

So, here it is--the “Old Fart Listens To What The Young Kids Are Jivving To And Explains It All” for “Just Give Me A Reason”:

Basically, Pink’s tired of Nate being all distant, mostly because of his dreams. Nate responds in the absolute worst way he possibly can, basically telling Pink she’s gone cray cray, and then then repeat the words “Our Love” four times because love. Then they sing about drinking and rust and other stuff because it’s supposed to be way deep and nothing is resolved in the end.

Basically, a description of my marriage.

So, what do you think of the song? Let me know!!!!!

Till Next Time,

J

5 comments:

  1. Great first post, J. As for the song, not my cup of tea. But, P!nk has me thinking I should start spelling my name J@y Sp8nc8r. :)

    BTW The washboard? Is there any proof of this talent?

    ReplyDelete
  2. I wandered off when you bad-mouthed my mom. She's dead, you know? I didn't mean "bad-mouthed." I meant "mentioned".

    ReplyDelete
  3. "Then they sing about drinking and rust and other stuff because it’s supposed to be way deep and nothing is resolved in the end." That's nearly a quote from a guy I heard at the VFW. And all of his friends.

    Who the hell is this guy (Dr. Ruess)? Why is he here bugging Pink while she's floating on a mattress hard by fog and a TV set? I think that someone was mad at the guy so they decided to pair his wimpy voice with that Pink dynamo. He never had a chance, really.

    ReplyDelete
  4. This video is also eligible for this year's WITT (Why-Is-That-There) Award because of the large Teddy bear with glowing eyes that doesn't do anything other than be a large Teddy bear with glowing eyes. Why would you want to draw my attention to a prop not named Pink?

    ReplyDelete
  5. Bahahaha! A description of your marriage. Hilarious. I thoroughly enjoyed your interpretation and I second Jay - I'd love proof of this washboard playing. : )

    ReplyDelete